[This feels like something from long ago, brought back up to the surface. The thought of it reminds her of her bitter anger towards him for what he almost did, and what he may again be thinking of. It’s why she is slow in replying but does not let him wait.]
[ Like she made him recall something amusing. Gutting, too. Joy and pain hand in hand, as they always are. ]
These are my thoughts, Liv. They consume me. Life and Death mean everything to us. Two halves of all existence. They mean nothing here. So what are we supposed to be, my other half?
[ His tone doesn't match his words, smile practically audible. Just like he was smiling when he held a knife and told his sister she needed to die. ]
I've been having these dreams. You die without me, so I make the world end.
[No stranger to dreams of destruction and complete annihilation for the same reason, she doesn't want to think about it in the now because the feelings will come crawling out of her. Vengeance sought for an ending that hasn't yet happened, a dismal cloud of ash for her mood...]
I am here, Alaric. I'm going nowhere, not without you.
[ But there's something here. A path lighting up. A trail of breadcrumbs in reverse, leading him away from home. Telling Alaric to bring Liv with him. ]
Here is a constraint. We endure it, like we endure all else.
[They do what they do because they must - they are in these husks of flesh, marionettes in a life that doesn't feel their own. Never has. It's so limiting, she can't really bear it without him. It's like wearing blinders, but the things she can't see are other parts of herself.]
Keep telling me your thoughts. What are you thinking.
[ Endure. He's asked so many people to do so, he's preached about the virtue of that word. In the name of pleasure and agony alike, to find strength in accepting their weakness. Punishing it. Worshiping it. ]
That you should be here with me. You should always be with me. We can't be apart for long, you know this. You know this, and yet you leave.
[ He's losing something. Another piece of his psyche is splitting, drifting. ]
I saw how we were split in half, Liv. That night I dreamed in the woods. I saw how we could be together again. It was in the knife. You just had to look. But you couldn't let me leave.
[Not chasing those dreams again, not like this - she can't follow him there. The last time was close, yet in her dreams since, when she remembered the night... it was like death was an impossible thing for her. An impossibility; she is drowning in a lake and unable to take in water, she is on fire but unable to burn.
[ Stay with me. Stay with me. It repeats and repeats while he's all alone. ]
White blood. Black blood. Together, bathed in it, feeding, drowning. Your hand ... it's in mine, even though our bodies are broken. We endure the pain, we watch each other's light fade. We break free from the deceit, Liv. We return to every place we've dreamt of. Every life we were meant to live as one. We find Fate at last. And when we wake up—
[She doesn't want to indulge him on this dream too much - but she doesn't want him off, wandering. Off wondering. Off getting more ideas to act upon. Sometimes she thinks he's right, in a way, and she wonders why she holds herself to this life with such rigidity. I can't die she tells herself, interpreting that as a desire to live instead of the simple, disguised fact: she cannot die. She will realize the distinction in time.]
[A promise made today, tonight - every night after. A promise made every day before in their lives, when they knew they were too important to one another to ever venture far. And as it stands, they've never had far to look before they managed to reunite.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You promised me you wouldn’t leave me.
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I'm still here. [ But the beat turns a rhetorical question genuine. ] Aren't I?
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Share with me what you’re thinking. Tell me your thoughts.
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[ Like she made him recall something amusing. Gutting, too. Joy and pain hand in hand, as they always are. ]
These are my thoughts, Liv. They consume me. Life and Death mean everything to us. Two halves of all existence. They mean nothing here. So what are we supposed to be, my other half?
[ His tone doesn't match his words, smile practically audible. Just like he was smiling when he held a knife and told his sister she needed to die. ]
I've been having these dreams. You die without me, so I make the world end.
no subject
I am here, Alaric. I'm going nowhere, not without you.
no subject
[ But there's something here. A path lighting up. A trail of breadcrumbs in reverse, leading him away from home. Telling Alaric to bring Liv with him. ]
But we're not meant to stay here.
no subject
[They do what they do because they must - they are in these husks of flesh, marionettes in a life that doesn't feel their own. Never has. It's so limiting, she can't really bear it without him. It's like wearing blinders, but the things she can't see are other parts of herself.]
Keep telling me your thoughts. What are you thinking.
no subject
That you should be here with me. You should always be with me. We can't be apart for long, you know this. You know this, and yet you leave.
[ He's losing something. Another piece of his psyche is splitting, drifting. ]
I saw how we were split in half, Liv. That night I dreamed in the woods. I saw how we could be together again. It was in the knife. You just had to look. But you couldn't let me leave.
no subject
[Not chasing those dreams again, not like this - she can't follow him there. The last time was close, yet in her dreams since, when she remembered the night... it was like death was an impossible thing for her. An impossibility; she is drowning in a lake and unable to take in water, she is on fire but unable to burn.
Her voice is quieter:]
Tell me what you saw. Describe it to me.
no subject
White blood. Black blood. Together, bathed in it, feeding, drowning. Your hand ... it's in mine, even though our bodies are broken. We endure the pain, we watch each other's light fade. We break free from the deceit, Liv. We return to every place we've dreamt of. Every life we were meant to live as one. We find Fate at last. And when we wake up—
[ Silence. Softer. ]
We never see each other again. We see our self.
no subject
[She doesn't want to indulge him on this dream too much - but she doesn't want him off, wandering. Off wondering. Off getting more ideas to act upon. Sometimes she thinks he's right, in a way, and she wonders why she holds herself to this life with such rigidity. I can't die she tells herself, interpreting that as a desire to live instead of the simple, disguised fact: she cannot die. She will realize the distinction in time.]
I want your embrace, as you have it, right now.
no subject
[ He'll show her the woods. They'll get lost together. It won't feel cold if they make each other warm. ]
Will you find me?
🎀
[A promise made today, tonight - every night after. A promise made every day before in their lives, when they knew they were too important to one another to ever venture far. And as it stands, they've never had far to look before they managed to reunite.]