morrer | (no subject)

Did I tell you that?

Or is that what you heard from what I told you.

Isn't that what u said

[ Isn't that what gave him a whole crisis in the first place? ]

[u expect him to remember?!]

death is inevitable, it's everywhere.
you brought it to people quicker than it would've ordinarily found them
and that bothers you?

Of course it does I never wanted I didn't want to kill anyone And it didn't matter Three people died because of me

what makes you upset about it?

the physical act of killing or the social hangups that humans attach to it
do you feel like a wolf in the wild should feel bad for killing another animal?

But I wasn't a fucking wolf I was a person and I did it anyway I can't even remember feeling bad about it There wasn't any part of me that wanted to stop It's my fault everything is ruined

Edited (rephrasing) 2025-10-30 02:58 (UTC)

[You didn't even wanna kill? Lame.]

It sounds like you weren't in control of yourself.
It's up to you whether you allow yourself to take the blame
but I think in your case, that's unfair.

It's beyond losing control to your urges. You were someone's puppet.

I just want u to tell me how u knew

[ There's no other way he can make sense of any of this, and people keep asking him to. Why her, why him, why her. All he has is I don't know. Knowing and telling that he wasn't in control isn't good enough. It just sounds like an excuse when it's the only explanation they'll ever get. ]

Can u just tell when people are monsters

I didn't predict this, those moments of yours
I simply can tell when someone has a certain nature about them.
You still fight to deny yourself what and who you are, don't you?

Nature is supposed to be simple. We made it that way
You're not a monster. Not an abomination.
You're more of a beast. Predator among prey, by design
I simply want you to embrace your capabilities
To live up to your potential

Yes I am I'm a fucking monster and I don't know why I thought that could be different Nothing good ever happens from my 'potential' Even the magic I learned ended up hurting people They killed all of us at the end, did u know that? Burning together was our punishment And then I had to wake up not even knowing who I was Just another fucking monster I don't want to be a beast I don't want to be anything I just wanted to stay dead

Well, unfortunately for you then, nobody stays dead here. Not very long

I told you you needed balance.
You can tame what you are and control it or you can fear it and abandon it
but it will always be there.
You're not accepting of it, even still

You're not accepting who you are